


you’re in my   veins

by padsmischief



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabbles, M/M, Marauders era, angsty, like... really angsty, lots of rambling tbh, more emotion than dialogue, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 08:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16384859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padsmischief/pseuds/padsmischief
Summary: A collection of small, random excerpts from an ongoing wolfstar roleplay I’m apart of.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I’ve decided to post my rambly excerpts from an ongoing roleplay I’m involved in.. There’s no beginning and no end to most of them, because once again, it’ll just be small pieces from my replies. I’m Sirius, if you’re curious, so all of these will be from his POV, written in third person. The first one takes place the morning after a full moon, during which Sirius was attacked and bitten by a rogue werewolf. Remus is in the hospital wing. Angst and pining for his boyfriend’s safety ensues.

Meanwhile, in the time that had passed since Remus left, Sirius had done nothing _but_ think of him.. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was alright, if he was awake yet- and if so, was he scared? Did he know what happened? _How_ much could he recollect from that night? It was like a mantra, repeating in his head until the record scratched and made him feel sick.. More so than he already felt, of course. 

His body was a canvas, and the blood painted the glaring reminders of what had happened to them.. To him. Even after hours had passed, he could still see flashes in his mind as if it were _happening_ still. Her cold fingers... wrapped around his hair as she clutched it in her fist, holding him so tightly that he’d been certain she was just going to snap his neck. The hot breath against his ear as she and Remus did their silent dance of communication. The way she’d suddenly crashed to the floor, everything happening too fast to process, and then... Sirius could almost still _feel_ the white hot agony of her ripping into his flesh. Tearing at the muscle in his back, ripping it open in the process.. He could feel the ghost of warm blood flowing down his back, hear the utter panic in James’ voice as he cried out his name, feel the creaking floorboards screech and moan as the sound of snapping jaws and battle took over. The thump as her body finally hit the floor.. 

Sirius was shaking, clenching his fists so hard that they were white-knuckled, and he wouldn’t have even noticed if not for the hand that settled on his shoulder. It made him jerk his head up, eyes wide as he took in the fact that it was James- _just_ James. They were safe, they were fine, Remus was fine. The kitchens of Hogwarts were secure, and none of the house elves bustling around them looked particularly murderous.. He felt small, for a moment; Childish, for being afraid, even if only for a fraction of time. He hadn’t even endured that much.. Not nearly as much as Remus, and even despite that fact, his better half walked around every single day without this fear. Without the nervousness, or the constant worry that he’d be attacked again. How the hell did he do it? It had taken Sirius years just to stop flinching every time an adult man put a hand on him, or a Professor called him Mr. Black. Now he had another reason to flinch, another reason to turn up the volume of his perfect facade.. Why? Why was he so weak, sometimes? It made him want to get angry. Made him want to clench his fists for a _different_ reason, and exercise that explosive aggression that put Regulus in the hospital wing.. But he couldn’t. Even _trying_ to, he couldn’t.. Because he wasn’t angry, to put it simply; He was devastated.. Over what he’d become, over the fact that Remus was lying in a hospital bed barely clinging to life, over said condition being due to _murdering_ someone for him. When the sixteen year old pictured all of that, _any_ of that, really... He didn’t want to scream or break things. Sirius wanted to cry. For the third time just that week- that _hellish_ week- he wanted to break down and cry. However, just like the first two times... He didn’t even have it in him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A blissful morning in the shower, three days before the attack, Sirius finds out that Remus imprinted on him.

The atmosphere was surreal, everything feeling like it was in slow motion, this moment in time only existing for _them._ It was starting to sink in, the knowledge that Remus not only chose him, but so did the wolf, and long before they’d even admitted how they felt about each other. _Years_ before they even knew they were in love. That was... a powerful thing, in his eyes. Living with the casual thought that he wasn’t worthy of everlasting love, being told that Remus would never stop wanting to be at his side... It was sort of like a wake up call. Remus was so _good_ and pure that he wouldn’t possibly imprint on him if he was completely horrible.. Right? The reassurance that he was definitely never stuck didn’t hurt either, and his heart might’ve even skipped when the taller boy called him _that_ nickname. _Starlight._ It was probably his favorite one out of all of them. _He wouldn’t be admitting that though, thank you very much._

There was, of course, a darker side to it.. Moony having to watch him run around and mess about with other people, having to watch him come back from holiday after holiday bloody and hurt- knowing that was the person he wanted to protect. The jealousy alone must have been difficult to deal with, from what he’d heard about how possessive the wolf could get. The same jealousy that seemed to surface a bit when he brought up Marlene.. 

The thumb on his cheek swiped across his skin in a gentle motion, and Sirius shook his head before kissing him. Chaste, sweet, but only lingering for a few seconds. Then he was murmuring a reassurance, a smile on his face that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. “Trust me, I know, baby.. I don’t know what it would’ve been like if I’d stayed with her. I imagine it wouldn’t have ended well for either of us, considering I’m definitely one hundred percent only attracted to guys,” he gave a small shrug, laughing a little. “Would’ve been embarrassing at the very least, if she ever got as far as she kept pushing for.”

There was a pause.. A moment where he simply took in the peaceful feeling that radiated around them in waves. 

“With us, though? I couldn’t have put it better than you.” His voice was going soft again, that affectionate tone leaking in against his will. He wasn’t even consciously aware that he was doing it, really. “It’s just _right_ , innit? It’s like every moment we’ve ever had was building up to this.. The world letting us fall in love at our own pace, while always knowing it would happen eventually. That it was _meant_ to be that way. That’s how I like to think of it.” Humming for a second, he trailed a finger over a scar that crossed Remus’ chest.. So light and gorgeous and comforting without trying. He could practically feel the strength rippling just below the surface, and it made him the tiniest bit lightheaded.. _Hot_ was the only word he kept thinking of, and he had to shake himself of _that_ thought quickly. Naked in the shower wasn’t a very convenient place to dwell on the attractiveness of your boyfriend. “At the risk of sounding like a complete arse, is it true that werewolves have a pack dynamic? Including a mate? I know we’ve always said we’re a pack, but I was never really sure if you just kept it up because you didn’t want to destroy the really cool image James and I had in our heads. Like that time with the muggle magician.”

That pulled a laugh out of the younger boy, and Sirius was certain it couldn’t be healthy for his heart to skip so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another reminder for possible new readers: These chapters will always be incomplete, in a sense, because they are only bits and pieces of a bigger story.


End file.
